Stages on the way to sexual arousal

Stages on the way to sexual arousal

Arousal prior to sexual intercourse

Males and females exhibit different patterns of sexual arousal. In a dating situation, typically the man feels a physical attraction towards the woman and wants to touch and kiss. The woman tends to want to connect emotionally rather than physically; she may feel a sentimental longing for her partner and other intense feelings.

At a certain point of greater intimacy, the positions will be exchanged. The woman will now feel the desire for physical touch on top of her emotional feelings while the male will experience the more emotional longing along with the physical. Both will progress to a more overtly sexual desire if they allow their relationship to progress.

Walking and talking together leads to holding hands. A simple kiss progresses to prolonged kissing and petting. Long spells of embracing and kissing will likely bring on strong arousal in the male. Once arousal reaches this point, it is extremely difficult to stop. Touching the private areas of the body will cause strong arousal in the female. Involvement of the sexual organs directly will prompt intense impulses to actually engage in sexual intercourse.

Sexual desire presents a profound challenge of the mind to overcome the body. Males are chiefly tempted by sexual desire to disregard a young woman’s heart and to focus on her body as an object of pleasure. Females may be tempted to use sex as a way to hold on to a male as an object of security. It is said that men tend to regard love as the way to get sex and women tend to use sex as the way to get love.

In any case, increasing the time spent together between two members of the opposite sex will almost always invite the emergence of sexual attraction and sexual feelings. Couples may pass through the stages of sexual arousal quickly or over a long period of time, according to the partners’ decisions. This is why prudent couples do not give themselves the opportunity to be alone together before they are ready for sex. They recognize the signs of stimulation and take a step backwards.

Changes after consummation

The consummation of sexual intercourse irrevocably changes the nature of the relationship. If the couple is married, sexual intercourse is a confirmation and celebration of their mutual love and commitment.

Complete conjugal love includes four elements: compatibility, intimacy, commitment, and passionpatibility-shared interests, values, and goals-is the objective foundation for a relationshipmitment is volitional-the decision to care, to be faithful, to persevere through hard times. Intimacy is the feeling of closeness and connectedness. Passion at its best supports and celebrates the other three elements, leading to a high degree of satisfaction. When one or more of these elements are lacking, sexual passion may accentuate the sense of incompleteness in the relationship.

For instance, romantic love includes intimacy and passion but no commitment. This is a common experience during youth. The pair is caught up in the experience of physical arousal and feelings of closeness, but lack the readiness or maturity to commit to sharing their lives together. Infatuation has passion only, an entrancing sexual attraction with neither intimacy nor commitment. This is “love at first sight” and is characterized by preoccupation with the other person, extreme ups and downs of feelings, and an intense longing to be with the object of desire. In both cases, compatibility may be thin or nonexistent.

Commitment is generally signified by marriage or plans to marry. Where there is no commitment, intercourse will usually have negative consequences for the relationship, especially if it occurs early on. Sexual involvement can create a false sense of intimacy that can easily replace real communication and other activities that foster authentic intimacy. It focuses both partners on the physical, which lends itself to mutual or one-sided exploitation. The often subtle escalation of selfishness that physical intimacy brings, increases jealousy and possessiveness. Often one partner can sense something is wrong and want to stop the sexual intimacy or even the relationship, but this is difficult. Sexual relations imply an obligation, and the relationship may begin to feel like a trap. Guilt, fear of pregnancy or disease, shame before one’s conscience or parents, can generate an undercurrent of tension that gnaws at the relationship.

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